The Transformative Journey of Tantra: Embracing Your True Self

You’ve felt it-that quiet pull toward something deeper. Not just another massage, not another retreat, not another app promising peace. You’re searching for a way to stop performing, to stop hiding, and finally meet yourself-really meet yourself. That’s where tantra begins.

What Tantra Really Is (And What It Isn’t)

Tantra isn’t about sex. Not really. It’s not about exotic rituals, secret hand gestures, or chanting in Sanskrit while wearing silk robes. That’s the myth. The truth? Tantra is an ancient system-older than Buddhism, older than organized religion-that teaches you how to wake up to your own energy, your own sensations, your own aliveness.

It comes from India, but it’s not tied to any one religion. It’s a practice. A way of seeing. You don’t need to believe in gods or chakras to benefit from it. You just need to be willing to feel.

At its core, tantra says: everything is sacred. Your breath. Your anger. Your tiredness. Your pleasure. Even your shame. There’s no part of you that’s too messy, too broken, too much to be included. That’s radical. And that’s why it changes people.

Why This Matters Right Now

Life in 2025 is exhausting. We’re told to optimize, hustle, produce, and consume. We scroll to distract ourselves from the quiet ache inside. We numb out with Netflix, alcohol, work, or endless to-do lists. But tantra doesn’t ask you to fix yourself. It asks you to be yourself.

Think of it like this: You’re a phone running 20 apps in the background. Your energy is drained, but you keep pretending you’re fine. Tantra is the power button. Not to turn you off-but to reboot you into full presence.

People who stick with it don’t suddenly become enlightened gurus. They just stop fighting themselves. They sleep better. They speak their truth. They laugh louder. They stop apologizing for wanting more.

The Real Benefits-Beyond the Hype

Here’s what actually changes when you start practicing tantra regularly:

• You notice tension in your body before it turns into pain. A tight jaw? A clenched stomach? You feel it early-and breathe into it.
• You stop rushing through moments. Eating a meal? You taste it. Walking? You feel your feet hit the ground.
• You stop needing external validation to feel worthy. Not because you’re confident, but because you’re no longer looking outside for proof you’re enough.
• You become more present with others. Not because you’re trying to be ‘better’ at relationships-but because you’re finally not distracted by your own noise.

One woman I know, a nurse in Utrecht, started with just five minutes of breathwork each morning. Six months later, she said: ‘I didn’t fix my anxiety. I just stopped being afraid of it.’ That’s tantra.

How Tantra Shows Up in Daily Life

You don’t need a guru or a retreat to begin. Tantra lives in small, quiet acts:

• Touching your own skin with kindness-massaging your hands after washing them, not just drying them.
• Pausing before answering your partner. Not to craft the perfect reply, but to feel what’s really inside you.
• Letting yourself cry without explaining why.
• Saying ‘no’ to something that drains you-even if it’s ‘just’ a party or a meeting.
• Standing barefoot on the floor for 30 seconds before starting your day. Feeling the coolness. Feeling grounded.

These aren’t techniques. They’re invitations. Invitations to come home to yourself.

Tantra vs. Meditation: What’s the Difference?

People often confuse tantra with meditation. They’re related, but not the same.

Meditation is often about stillness-sitting quietly, observing thoughts, letting them pass. It’s inward-focused.

Tantra is about movement-feeling energy rise, flow, shift. It uses breath, touch, sound, movement, even desire as tools. It doesn’t ask you to quiet your mind. It asks you to ride it.

Think of meditation as watching the ocean from the shore. Tantra is diving in, feeling the current, the salt, the pull of the tide-and trusting you won’t drown.

How to Start-No Experience Needed

You don’t need a class, a teacher, or special gear. Here’s how to begin today:

1. Find a quiet spot. Sit or lie down. No phone. No distractions.
2. Close your eyes. Take three slow breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.
3. Now, place one hand on your belly. Feel it rise as you inhale. Fall as you exhale. Don’t change it. Just notice.
4. Ask yourself: ‘What am I feeling right now?’ Not ‘What should I feel?’ Just what’s here.
5. Stay with it for 90 seconds. Even if it’s boredom. Even if it’s restlessness. Just sit with it.

That’s it. That’s the practice. Not perfection. Not enlightenment. Just presence.

Where to Go Deeper (If You Want To)

If you feel called to explore further, here’s what works:

• Local groups in Amsterdam: There are small, quiet tantra circles in De Pijp and Oud-West. No costumes. No chanting. Just people sitting together, breathing, sharing space.
• Books: ‘The Heart of the Yogini’ by Gudrun Sjödén is gentle, clear, and grounded. ‘Tantra: The Path of Ecstasy’ by Georg Feuerstein is deeper, but rich.
• Online: Look for guided breathwork or body scan meditations labeled ‘tantra-inspired.’ Avoid anything that promises ‘sexual mastery’ or ‘orgasmic enlightenment.’ Those are red flags.

The best teachers don’t sell you transformation. They hold space for you to find it yourself.

What to Avoid

Tantra has been commercialized. You’ll find ads for ‘tantra sex workshops’ with glitter and candles. They’re not wrong-but they’re not the heart of it.

Avoid anything that:

• Charges hundreds for a ‘secret initiation’
• Requires you to sleep with your teacher
• Claims you’ll ‘unlock your kundalini’ in one weekend
• Uses spiritual language to manipulate or control

Tantra is freedom. Not another system to obey.

Your True Self Isn’t Out There

You don’t need to travel to India. You don’t need to buy crystals or wear white. You don’t need to become someone else.

Your true self is right here-in the quiet between your breaths. In the way you avoid eye contact when you’re tired. In the laugh you hold back because you think it’s too loud. In the anger you swallow because you don’t want to be ‘difficult.’

Tantra doesn’t give you a new identity. It helps you drop the masks you’ve worn for years.

And that’s the most radical thing you can do.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where to Go From Here

You don’t need to change your life. Just change how you’re in it.

Try the 90-second breath practice tonight. Before bed. No goals. No expectations. Just be with yourself.

That’s the whole journey. Not becoming someone new. Remembering who you were before you learned to hide.